This story is dedicated to coincidence. Does it exist or is everything in life predetermined? Free will or determinism? What are the possibilities of our universe? There are 11 chapters to discuss the elements or powers involved in coincidence. In the context of the eternal subject we call love.
Chapter 1. Music – Rieu makes the heart sing (fait rire le Coeur).
I live only an hour drive from Maastricht the most southern city of The Netherlands, in the area of Nijmegen in The Netherlands close to Germany. When I worked in Eindhoven for Philips Design in human factors i visited Maastricht several times with a team of creative colleagues to attend the famous MECC Art Exhibition and Trade Show to get inspiration for new creative designs. Also I have been in Maastricht a number of times to visit my friends Yvonne and Jan Willem van den Brandhof from Brainstudio, famous for their courses and books about using your brain in the best possible way. From music to food and techniques well known to me from my psychology background.
Not long ago in July, I came back from a vacation in Alsace, the region in France very close to Germany which once was part of it. Many German names are still there such as Kaysersberg a little town very famous for its beautiful atmosphere, houses, its gastronomy and its wines. Going through Luxembourg and the Ardennes coming back from France, I sat down on the Vrijthof, which is a very beautiful large square in the heart of Maastricht, to rest for a while eating a light lunch and drinking some Pinot Blanc from the Alsace region. I noticed that the Vrijthof was completely occupied by big tents and stages and that in every bar and restaurant there were big screens available. Quickly it became clear to me that it is the time of the year that André Rieu gives his yearly series of concerts for a 100.000 people from 99 countries all over the world in his home town.
André Rieu is famous for making classical music accessible for a broader audience. People who perhaps will not go to traditional concert houses but still want to enjoy a rich classical repertoire available for them such as Johann Strauss, Franz Léhar, Johannes Brahms, Franz Liszt and others. He is the concert master for an orchestra of more than a hundred musicians and plays the main violin himself. Not everybody is a hardcore Wagner or Richard Strauss fan.
I decided to go to the concert on the Vrijthof next year in July. When I came home I directly made a booking. Beginning of July I went to the Moesel area, famous for the Riesling wine and the old Roman town Trier not very far from Maastricht. When driving home I stayed in Maastricht for a couple of nights with friends to be able visit the Rieu concert at the Vrijthof on Friday evening.
Eva was planning to go to the André Rieu concert after contemplating to go Maastricht for some years. Eva is also a music lover and played the pianino as child and sang in the Hungarian Radio Chorus at a young age. Eva booked a ticket for the concert and arrived via Düsseldorf from Sweden. Eva also booked a ticket for the Friday performance on the Vrijthof. When Eva arrived there from the Amrath hotel the square was already quite busy. Eva sat down and the chair next to her was still free. This is very rare because the concert was fully booked.
I was sitting nearby and asked if I could put my jacket on the chair because it was very warm. She was ok with the jacket and we started to talk about the concert and the music. I asked her name which was Eva and that she lives in Sweden. I said, what a beautiful name. My name is Göran, it’s actually a Swedish name but I am Dutch. But you don’t look Swedish and you don’t look Dutch, Eva said. You look French to me. I have a French background i said, and you look very beautiful but also not Swedish. No, I am Hungarian Eva said, but I live in Sweden.
Quickly it became clear that our taste in music is very similar ranging from the Rieu repertoire to Chopin, Tschaikovsky, Verdi, Puccini but also Jazz, Soul and Pop. Time passed unnoticed and suddenly the concert started. Very soon the audience started moving with the music and there was a lot of energy in the air. I noticed that Eva also joined the people and danced and jumped with the flow of the music. I also was lit by the music and the movement and started dancing together with Eva. I felt immediately that I wanted to dance with her continuously.
Chapter 2. Connection – WOW, Waugh!,
After the concert we started to talk about our children and their names. We discovered that we both have a son with the name Sebastian. Eva told me she chose that name because of a famous English TV serie Brideshead Revisited, after a book written by the well-known British writer Evelyn Waugh. And I was just stunned, because believe it or not I gave my son the name Sebastian for exactly the same reason. Sebastian Flyte, played by Anthony Andrews who later also played in the movie Under the Volcano, is one of the main characters in the book and the serie next to his sister Julia and the painter Charles Ryder played by Jeremy Irons. He plays a very good role in a very good and beautiful story in the context of the 1920’s nobility in Great Britain.
Other famous actors in Brideshead Revisited are John Gielgud, sir Laurence Olivier and Claire Bloom who plays Lady Flyte. Laurence Olivier plays Lord Flyte who lives abroad in Venice with his mistress Clara. John Gielgud plays the slightly distracted father of Charles Ryder, who is the protagonist of the serie. As in the book Charles is the main storyteller. The serie takes mainly place in a beautiful big palace from the early 1800’s with a lot of paintings, statues, art and stunning gardens and fountains. Brideshead Revisited has a dreamy atmosphere which I never experienced before. The theme of the book and the series is connection and what love is really about. Something almost religious.
It quickly became clear that Eva and I have a very similar taste and love for beauty, culture, music and also food, mostly vegetarian and pescatarian. We are both very sensitive for details and atmosphere. We both can’t live without beauty and I thought at that moment that we are very close to each other and I told her so to make it clear. She acknowledged and it became obvious that we started to become a very good team and should start to enjoy life together. Later on we experienced that other people could see the similar looks between me and Eva’s son. This is another example of serendipity both from ourselves and from the people around us.
Chapter 3. Health – The Power of Lentil Soup
After the concert we made an appointment to meet each other in Sweden. I travelled to Stockholm and our second meeting was in Villa Källhagen, which is close to the Martime Museum at the Djurgardsbrunnsviken near Djurgarden Park. It is a very nice hotel and restaurant close to the embassy area of Stockholm and also very close to Strandvägen and Karlavägen. I booked a appartment room there so I could cook my own food there, and made an appointment with Eva to meet me in the restaurant in the afternoon. I was slightly nervous because it was only the second time we met in person. In the meantime we had several nightly phone conversations which only confirmed our initial feeling of being close and connected in a lot of different ways. During our first phone conversation we also talked about what love means and how it can be expressed, and that I love her. I said that one of the ways to express love is to prepare the right kind of food. It can be almost a biblical experience such as Jacob who prepared lentil soup for Esau in order to give up his birthright for a cup of soup. Eva told me that in Hungary lentil soup has a special meaning when served on New Year’s Day with Sour Cream because then it will bring health, wealth and beauty for the rest of the year.
Our three hour meeting went by unnoticed drinking just one café latte and talking about what moves us in live. While talking i gently caressed her hair and neck with my finger, and also took her hand in my hands softly massaging them while looking straight in her beautiful green eyes. It was a very moving and vulnerable moment for both of us. Then I walked Eva home to Karlaplan where she has an apartment. During the walk i lifted her up in the sky and gave her a bunch of orange lilies as a remembrance for the coming days. I returned to my apartment my heart filled with bliss and love.
Back in the hotel I decided to return to her house next day bringing some lentil soup for a late lunch in the afternoon. I went to a supermarket nearby to buy lentils, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, fresh parsley, barley and sour cream. And also some walnut bread. Lentil soup is best prepared the day before, because then the taste is much better and coherent. Small details are very important when preparing food especially when it is going to have a magic effect on health and beauty. I called Eva in the evening to tell her I would come by the next day in the afternoon, if that was all right and that I would have a surprise for her. Also, to have a look a the flowers in her apartment, and how well they fit with her beautiful green eyes.
The next day I arrived around 15:00 at Eva’s apartment which is at walking distance from Villa Källhagen. She was amazed by my homemade lentil soup and asked if I would like to drink a glass of white wine together with her. Then we started talking more about food and we found out that we have a very similar taste in food such as white cabbage, sauerkraut, red cabbage, sour cream, lentil soup, spinach, cauliflower rice, chicken livers with onions and much more. We don’t like red meats, pommes frites, bearnaise sauce and grilled food so much. It all tastes the same and is hard to digest. After eating some lentil soup and drinking some white wine we decided that Eva would come to Amsterdam soon to explore the city and the nice food and restaurants it has to offer. I lived very close to Hotel Americain for several years as a student and enjoyed coffee or lunch there while reading a book or the newspapers.
We both agreed that the best way to the heart is through the stomach. It is both an Hungarian and a Dutch saying (liefde gaat door de maag, kärlek går igenom magen, a szerelem a gyomoron megy keresztül, love goes through the stomach). Also we agreed that the best way for good health and the right balance of mind and body is via good cooking and the best ingredients that one can find. One should always start with the vegetables and preferably more than one. And then one can add some fresh fish, high quality chicken or turkey and the finest bread and olive oil. And a good wine such as a Rioja or Verdecha. The most important thing is to cook these ingredients with love and patience. It can take some more time but that is fine. If done properly preparing and eating food with the best ingredients and the right tools comes very close to making love. It caresses the body similar to giving a big hug, kiss or a very good massage or great dancing to wonderful music. Especially when all these ingredients can be combined into a wonderful blend. In that sense there is not a lot of difference between being a good cook and a good psychologist. It’s all about the art of combining the best qualities and using your best qualities and skills and to be aware of that. Mastery is the key ingredient in self-efficacy, being self motivated and confident.
Chapter 4. The Power of Love – Bears in Amsterdam and Budapest – and the Ring / Tous
Amsterdam and Budapest and Mallorca – bears, bears, bears
We decided to meet again in Amsterdam after our first meeting in Maastricht. I picked her up at Schiphol Airport around 9 PM and we took a taxi to the hotel at the Spuistraat. We had a late dinner at a local restaurant with a beautiful spinach dish Espinacas, pasas y piñones and i had a Sopa de campo. We went back to the hotel which was just on the other side of the street very close by.
Eva gave me a little bear as a gift and also a bronze statue from the Historiska Museet close to where she lives at Karlaplan. I gave her a Madagascar Rose Quartz stone which i bought at Castle Hernen close to Wijchen. It is a largely untouched medieval castle and was used to record the famous Dutch television series Floris with Rutger Hauer who later became a Hollywood moviestar and played the main role in Blade Runner. They have a yearly market where old trades are demonstrated and special products are sold. The Quartz stone is a symbol for unconditional love. I told her about my unconditional love for her a couple of times before. The Bear symbol is also very important as it represents a protector and symbolizes courage, physical strength and leadership. Bears are strong, agile, and quick. The meaning of the Bear symbol is a good omen and to convey authority. The city of Berlin (Bär-Lin) has the bear in its flag and also bear statues all standing all over the city. It’s a strong and lively city with very much it’s own character.
We have a very strong and good relationship which is signified by the Bears. The third time we met in Sweden, Eva told me that I am her big bear and gave me another bear from Budapest where she is was born. Now I always carry the two bears with me on all my travels. In Amsterdam we had a beautiful time visiting the Van Gogh Museum and the Van Loon Museum at the Keizergracht. I think I have already fell in love when we met at the André Rieu concert, and decided to marry her shortly after. Falling in love with each other so soon is rare and I never experienced it before. I went to see Eva at Mallorca and bought her a ring from the Tous Collection – an originally Spanish jewelry brand from Barcelone. We bought the engagement ring in Palma de Mallorca and when we went back to the hotel we found out that there was a little bear next to the diamonds in the ring. It is the Tous brand. Another “coincidence”. They did not have rings for my finger size, so i had to buy it in the Netherlands in white gold.
I will marry Eva as soon as possible, which will be 2021. A very special year and occasion.
Chapter 5. The Power of Sensuality
We both love classical music but also jazz music and any popular music that has a high quality. Such as ABBA or Earth, Wind and Fire and Barbra Streisand. Regarding Classical Music we have our favorite composers such as Tchaikovsky and Puccini, but also Kodaly, Mozart, Bach. Regarding jazz there are many good artists, my favorite instrument is the B3 organ and my favorite artist is Dr. Lonnie Smith who I have personally met and danced to his music. But maybe even better is Don Patterson and especially the final track on the Album the Return of Don Patterson. The lamp is low is one of the most beautiful jazz numbers ever. Everywhere we go I make sure that we can listen to beautiful music to listen and dance to at home. I gave here the Edifier Luna Eclipse speakers who are both very beautiful and very good sounding connected to her Samsung TV so we can watch Youtube music with a very beautiful sound the whole evening and dance.
This musical tradition and love for beauty deeply rooted in both of our families. My brother Mark and Eva’s brother Gabor and also my parents and Eva’s parents have the same passion for beauty and music. This is how we met by visiting the Andre Rieu concert in Maastricht together. We immediately in one second realized our passion for music and for each other. We had a three hour long meeting with one latte which felt like making love for a long time. The moment I saw Eva in Maastricht I knew we would be a pair forever because we are an incredible match together and forever and will be a couple and a family for the rest of our lives. And we promised each other to dance for the rest of our live. Also to make long walks hand in hand which we do every day. Also feet to knee and leg in the evening while listening to Brahms or Schubert concerts. In Stockholm we often go to Villa Källhagen for a latte and perhaps a shared bulle. This is where we went when I was for the first time together with Eva in Stockholm, not far from her house in Karlaplan where we share another apartment now with a very nice kitchen. So, now I can cook wonderfully smelling dishes every evening. Or else we go to a restaurant nearby with nice Greek, Persian or Indian food.
Chapter 6. The Power of Beauty
We both very much enjoy all the beautiful things around us and strongly dislike things that are not beautiful. A good example is our shared love of the color white. I say color because white reflects all the colors of the visible light spectrum to the eyes. We love white T-shirts, white sweaters, white cards, white speakers, house interiors that center around the color white. It is a very powerful because of this combination of all colors. Maybe for some people it is too strong.
White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity. It is also considered to be the color of perfection. White means safety, purity, and cleanliness. It has a very positive connotation and represents a successful beginning. For example we like to go to Sturebadet which is a health club and spa in Stockholm. Every visitor is wearing a white bathrobe which gives the whole place a safe, pure and clean atmosphere. It is a rich retreat amid the urban pulse and we both enjoy it very much in white T-shite and white bathrobes wearing white indoor sport shoes.
Another way to enjoy beauty is to go outside the city. The moment when you stroll the way that leads from Strandvägen to Villa Källhagen, which is about 2 kilometers, you notice the difference – the traffic noise stops and nature’s tranquility begins. Shortly thereafter, you are in our lush garden. This is where Eva and I met for the first time after our first encounter in Maastricht. Shortly after the meeting in Stockholm, a very nice long weekend in Amsterdam and a week in Stockholm at her apartment we decided to get married after Amsterdam and to get engaged in Mallorca.
After two months we decided to go back to Villa Källhagen to celebrate our encounter. It was a beautiful day in October and we walked from Strandvägen along the embassy neighbourhood, Nobelparken with its majestic houses and Nobelgatan with the Hungarian embassy and the statue of the resting Diana. On the right hand side the Djurgardsbrunnsviken until we reached Villa Källhagen which is a hotel and a restaurant. It was sunny as it was at our previous meeting and we sat in exactly the same chairs drinking latte looking at each other and Djurgarden over the water of the Brunnsviken. Exactly the same atmosphere came over us and we sat together for two hours talking again forgetting time completely, sinking into the oblivion of beauty and love.
The visuals are very strong here, almost as powerful as at hotel Maricel in Palma de Mallorca where we would engage in January 2020. Of course Djurgardsbrunnsviken is not the same as the Mediterranean but it is the most popular walking area of Stockholm especially since now a new very elegant stainless steel Folke Bernadotte Bridge which crosses Djurgårdsbrunnsviken, linking the Museum Park with the Nautical Museum with the Rosendal Royal Palace and Rosendal garden. A very beautiful walk around Djurgarden leads you all the way back to Stockholms Museum area, e.g. the Nordic Museum and the Vasa Museum, Lusthusporten Park, Strandvägen and back to Karlaplan and the apartment building where we live.
Chapter 7. The Power of Spirituality
The next day it was very sunny and we went to the historical museum close by which has a beautiful collection a total of 52 kilos of gold and over 200 kilos of silver which is on display in the Gold Room. There is a big lion at the entrance which is called the Piraeus lion because it was originally guarding the entrance of the harbor of Athens. Subsequently it was looted during the Turkish war and served as the symbol of San Marco in Venice, who founded the church of Alexandria in Egypt and it also has Scandinavian Rune inscriptions. The lion is also a symbol of courage and strength and my Zodiac sign. In mythology Leo is associated with fire or Sun. In the sky Sun transits the Leo area from approximately August 16 to September 15 which covers both my and Eva’s birthday. Leo precedes Virgo, our birthdays are not so far apart.
After visiting the Gold room and watching some beautiful medieval dresses which inspired Eva for her wedding dress, we walked along Strandvägen to the Raoul Wallenberg memorial at Nybrohammen near the Royal Theatre in the sunshine. Raoul Wallenberg is remembered for saving tens of thousands of Jews in Nazi-occupied Hungary during the Holocaust from German Nazis during the later stages of World War II. While serving as Sweden’s special envoy in Budapest between July and December 1944, Wallenberg issued protective passports and sheltered Jews in buildings designated as Swedish territory. Nowadays there is a thriving Hungarian Jewish community in Stockholm.
We decided to buy some veggie rolls for lunch and to take a ferry at Nybrokajen to travel around in the Stockholm Archipelago. During our boat trip the weather suddenly changed and the sky became gray and it started to rain. We decided to get off the ferry boat at Nackastrand to return to Nybrokajen. And to drink some kaffe latte at the Restaurant J. Restaurant J is located in the urban archipelago of Stockholm. It offers a breath-taking view on the archipelago and offers food from the surrounding 30 000 islands.
I immediately noticed the photo’s of sailing boats on the walls of the restaurant, specifically J-class yachts. Hence the name Restaurant J and Hotel J. I asked Eva if she where the name of the Hotel Restaurant came from and she said she did not know, although she has been there many times also with her mother. I explained Eva about the J-Class yacht and its history, the America Cup. A J-Class yacht is a single mast racing sailboat built to the specifications of a Universal Rule. The J-Class are considered the peak racers of the era when the Universal Rule determined eligibility in the America’s Cup from 1914 to 1937. The America’s Cup is a race between American and British super yachts still performed every year, but now with very fast trimaran boats and with other countries participating. J-Class yachts were among the most beautiful and tallest and fastest sailing boats ever built with an overall length of 40 meter, width of 6 meter and with 50 meter high masts and 700 square meter of sail. A majestic sight, let alone to see them sailing. Only ten J-class were built originally and Endeavour was one of the most beautiful and fastest ones and raced against the Rainbow from the US in US waters. So, they are very rare to encounter although there has been a revival and some new J-class have been built such as the Svea, designed by a Swede in 1937 and built only recently in The Netherlands. The reason I know these things is because I am a sailor myself and also have restored a couple of classic yachts including a 45m2 Kreuzerklasse Walta U13 from 1922 and a Pampus yacht 77 from 1937 called Holland. I brought it back all the way from Loosdrecht to Wijchen via the Vecht, through Utrecht the Amsterdam Rijn channel the river Waal and the Maas-Waal channel and up the river Maas. A very romantic boat trip.
We took the same ferry boat that brought us to Nackastrand back to the City and walked home, and made plans for the future. Eva was going to stay in Palma de Mallorca during January and I would join her in the second week of January and we would get engaged there to become fiancées and buy each other wedding rings. We bought a ring for Eva as mentioned before and we could not buy a ring for me as they did not have my size. So I bought my ring back in the Netherlands where my size is more regular. When we return to Restaurant J now the waiter recognizes us immediately and we don’t even have to order because he knows what we want. Something to share.
Our engagement lunch was at Hotel Maricel. It is a very beautiful hotel on the island of Mallorca near Palma since the 1950s and enjoys a privileged location next to the sea, a unique environment with a special combination of stately architecture inspired by the sober styles of the 16th and 17th centuries which are represented in the palace building. It has a very beautiful terrace by the Mediterranean sea with a view on Porticol. We had a special lunch for a special occasion at Maricel, which means Sea and Sky or Heaven. Risotto negro with flowers for Göran and Turbot Supreme with Sam Pobla Trinxal for Eva with a beautiful regional Rioja wine. It was beautiful weather with a clear sky and light winds and look what happened exactly when I gave Eva her Tous wedding ring with the little bear engraved next to the diamonds as described before. A large yacht sailed along across the horizon and I immediately recognized the J-Class Yacht Endeavour, the most beautiful sailing yacht that ever existed to celebrate our engagement at Maricel. Later we saw Endeavour and other beautiful yachts at Paseo Maritimo close to hotel Saratoga where we were staying. Is it a coincidence? Or isn’t it?
Chapter 8. The Power of Sensitivity
We are both very sensitive to light, sounds and smells. A good example is Eva’s talent for making photo’s with exactly the right lighting either inside or outside. She will always do the right thing regarding where the light comes from and with shadows. I do the same by nature, but I am not always paying enough attention to all aspects, perhaps because I have sometimes less patience or just look at the subject itself. However, when I am relaxed enough I will do the same and pay attention to all the important details. Where does the light come from, where are the shadows, how are the colors, how is the focus and the overall composition.
We also both have very sensitive hearing, sensitive to particular voices or tone of voice. Or other sounds such as drills, hammering or just people talking annoyingly, too fast, to loud or just too busy. In that case I just shut of my hearing or go somewhere else. This can be in the real world, but also in a movie or television program. Loud, fast talkers are not our favorites since they usually are liars or egocentric. The truth never lies and does not require loud or fast speaking. The truth shows itself clearly.
We both prefer slow movies, where not a lot seems to happen or it happens over a longer period of times. Music and sounds are usually more important than the actual dialogue. Think of the original Twin Peaks series by David Lynch, but also his movies such as Blue Velvet or Mulholland Drive. Everybody knows what is going to happen, but it will take some time before it actually takes place. It is shown from the beginning by the tone of voice, the music and the ambient sounds and also the underacting by actors such as Kyle Maclachnan and Laura Dern.
A very good example of the power of sensitivity is the television series Brideshead Revisited based on a book by Evelyn Waugh. The book is about the power of divine mercy on a group of very different people from different layers of society that are connected to each other. Although this is the actual subject of the book and also the TV series it never becomes very apparent but Charles Ryder is the protagonist of the book and also of the TV series with sir Laurence Olivier and Jeremy Irons. Charles (Jeremy) is the storyteller with his very relaxed low pitched voice. How to describe the silky glory of his voice, the exquisiteness of its timbre and modulation? It’s like sinking into a bath of black pearls, or taking sips of liquid morphine. He can create stories with his voice in the air, describe what the rooms look like, what the emotions are going one, how many glasses of wine he has drunk, what is going to happen, who he loves, just by using his voice. He creates an atmosphere where you already know what is going to happen in the rest of the episode, series or movie without actually saying it, just by tone of voice. Eva and I are both very sensitive to these aspects of sound or voice including the music that accompanies the voices and other ambient sounds such as water, birds, wind or rain.
The same thing happens in the movie Madame Bovary directed by Claude Chabrol with Isabelle Huppert in the main role based on a book by Gustave Flaubert from 1860. On the transition region of the course of values exciting things happen. Flaubert wrote the first modern realistic novel where the inner world of the title character is central, half a century before psychology took shape as science. And the movie pays tribute to that by never saying anything explicitly unless it is really necessary. Everything shows through facial expressions, music, ambient sounds to evoke emotions and thoughts with the viewer. The director and actors have done a great job by understanding exactly what the writer meant to say or show. Exactly the same is happening in the TV series Brideshead Revisited.
We also both are quite sensitive to loud or harsh voices, too bright lighting, loud noises. Then we leave or change the place. Also when people are acting disturbingly or are reeking. On the other hand, when the sound quality is right, the lighting is right and the smells are nice we both love it even when it is impactful. We also love to go to church and jazz concerts where the music is played quite loud. It’s all about the quality of the ambiance and the right atmosphere. In Hotel Saratoga there is a jazz concert almost every evening in the top floor restaurant. We sit closely to the band and the loudspeakers that play very loudly and we thoroughly enjoy it especially also when we can dance to the music. Sensitivity certainly is a double-edge sword. It is all about the right details and context.
Chapter 9. The Power of Harmony
When we were in Palma de Mallorca there was an interesting constellation of planets in the sky visible in the early evening with clear skies. The planets Venus, Mercurius and Neptune were clearly visible in the sky and close together in one line for at least a week. This is a special occurrence since Venus and Mercurius are very close to each other and also to our planet Earth. Neptune is one of the farthest planets in our solar system. This conjunction stands for love of words and ideas about the ideal, inspirational words. Writing stories of fantasy and mystical thought. Also for music, singing, and blissful thoughts of love. We embrace words of love and seduction and love to talk about inspirational topics. It is very true that our minds are in harmony with each other and that we both feel these things in soul and body and talk about it freely.
The same is true for our Zodiac signs Leo (Göran or Creator) and Virgo (Eva or Origin). Leo has the sign of fire and is ruled by the Sun as is the Greek God Apollo. Apollo is the son of Zeus and god of archery, music and dance and of sunlight. In paintings he is seen with his Zodiac sign Leo which stands for strength, energy, and passion. And above him the Sun is depicted. So Leo next to him and Sun above him. Sun-ruled people are inclined towards acquisition of knowledge and artistic achievement. This quality is often visualized by others as symbolical of their exceptionally good luck. Such individuals are full of self-respect, honesty and loyalty. Leo has excellent communication skills and tends to have a very attractive personality.
Virgo’s ruling planet is Mercury or Hermes in Greek mythology. Virgo is also a child of Zeus and stands for messenger, communicator. An ability to multitask and check-off never-ending-to-do lists with precision. In paintings Mercury is seen with Virgo and Gemini and points to the sky with the right hand and holds the caduceus in the left hand. Mercurius is the closest planet to the Sun, so therefore Mercury points to the sky and the light of the Sun which gives power to execute all plans and to organize things. The Sun provides the energy to do this. It is clear that the Sun and Mercury and therefore Leo and Virgo are very close together despite their different personalities and characters. They are in close harmony to organize the solar system and other zodiac signs to provide energy and practical solutions.
This kind of harmony we also found back in our favorites the cuddly teddy bears. Eva bought me one as a present when we met in Amsterdam and I brought her a rose quartz from Mauretania, a powerful healing stone. The bear is also a sign of authority, power and good omen. When she went to see her family in Budapest she brought me another cuddly bear, a female one with an I Love Budapest skirt. Together they form a good pair especially in combination with the rose quartz stone. They are what protects us together and keeps us in harmony. Especially when we bought the ring for Eva from the Tous brand and found a tiny bear sign on the ring, which is the symbol of the Tous brand, owned by the Catalan Tous family. The two bears protect us and guard the quartz stone and the Tous ring. I always take them with me on travels. Not long ago I forgot them in a hotel because they were still sleeping under the pillows. I called the hotel and they found them and would send them. It took almost a month before I got them back due to a mistake at the postal office. But now they are back and together with us in harmony. The symbol of the strength and delicacy of love, same as for the TOUS brand.
Another harmony we found is in our love for beautiful things. I have always had a passion for beautiful boats such as Swedish Skärgardkryssar, German Kreuzerklasse and above all the J-class yachts which were built in the 1920 and 1930 to race the America’s cup. What defines their classical beauty? At their time they were the pinnacle of technological achievement, which we now experience as beautiful. But it is a kind of beauty that does not exist anymore because most people don’t understand and there is not a lot of innovation in technology anymore.
Current America Cup yachts look more like airplanes and more or less fly above the water. We don’t see them as beautiful currently but maybe in 50 years. A good example is the Concorde supersonic airplane, which we experience as very beautiful already at the time it was operated and still now. A timeless design. The J-class yacht Endeavour was one of the most beautiful boats ever designed and survived the wars and is restored and still sailing from Palma de Mallorca. We have seen it sailing (J-K4 from 1934) and it is one of the most distinguishing sights ever on the water. Seeing it under sail or just in the harbor gives us both this harmonic feeling. Beautiful design, history and functionality signifies every good design whether it is in architecture, furniture, cities, cars, trains, boats, planes or things used every day.
One other harmony we experienced recently is the reality of the Corona crises. We met in August of 2019 and decided to get married in November. We engaged 15th of January right before the outbreak of Corona and had to delay the marriage. In the meantime we already have a very harmonious relationship. We share and understand everything from each other and daily grow with different activities. We perform together sharing ideas and thoughts and enjoying sharing knowledge, art and music.
Chapter 10. The Power of Personality
What is our true personality and how do our personalities combine? In our case it is very harmonious because we have different personalities, yet we also have common sides. We are both intuitive thinkers interested in the big picture and we like to plan for bigger goals. The difference is that I am more an introvert thinker, and need more time to come to a conclusion about what to do and when to do it. I like to underpin my intuitions with facts and data. Eva is more extravert and acts quicker on an intuition or feeling but also on facts. It does not mean we are not both feeling or thinking. It is more a general preference to act upon thinking and act upon feeling. The combination is ideal because in this way we are able to create a good balance in life both daily and in the future.
But what is a personality, and how do we know our personality? The word personality comes from the Latin word persona, which means mask. It also relates to the voice that speaks behind the mask through the opening. “Per sona”, or literally “by the sound”. These masks were worn in Greek, Etrusk and Roman times during plays to specify a specific character in a comedy or a tragedy such as the grouch, the mother, the virgin, the adolescent, the parasite, the father. This masquerade started already in ancient Greek times. The masks were worn by actors on stage and had an open mouth, so the actor could be heard speaking or singing with his or her own voice. So, actually although wearing the mask an actor could be recognized by the sound of the voice. Which does not hide anything as the mask does. This is our true personality.
I am an Architect, Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging and Eva is a protagonist, Extravert, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging. So, we are both Intuitive and Judging which is about our flow of energy and the day-to-day lifestyle but we differ in how we take in information and how we make decisions. That is why everything is my fault because I am slower to act and when I act I have not taken into account everything that has happened.
To give an example of our personalities. I would say, please make a photo of the sun and then Eva would already have done it. But also it happens that she is looking at something else and I notice the very nice sky above a building because I am not interested in looking at anything else other then the colour of the sky above a house. And I am not interested at all in restaurant menus or shop windows.
I notice things later or am occupied with other things such as the bigger picture. Eva is inspiring and charismatic towards other people and more occupied with how things look in small details or how other people look at things. I am more interested in how things relate to each other and how people think based on trusting my intuition. This is often too fast for a lot of other persons I know.
But together, our talents combined, work very well. I come over as relaxed and laidback yet at the same time I am thinking based on my intuitions. Eva is also very intuitive like me and judging which means that we both look at the bigger picture rather than only direct perception of reality.
A very good example of this is our second meeting at Villa Källhagen. I told Eva that I new beforehand what would happen. She asked me why do you know that, and I said because it is my intuition. This makes me look relaxed and laidback but in fact I just know. And I think she felt this and was not afraid to show this to me which assured me again of my intuition. It’s a strange but good loop of thoughts and feelings. Most importantly it is something we do together, not individually. It’s a combined activity. And this happens with every thing we do together. A combination of our joint intuition and judging power, and our own personality traits. Another good example is our recent visit to Saltsöbaden Hotel. Eva suggests something to me based on a offer not to be refused, but I have to think about it. Of course I am convinced by my intuition of travelling there by a little train and seeing a lot of classical boats and staying in a hotel where the Bilderberg Group convened. So a lot of history. She does not have to tell me, I know. It’s an intuition. And she knows that I will really enjoy it and I did.
Wolfgang Flür the Kraftwerk percussionist and inventor met a girl on the street in Dortmund where Kraftwerk originates. She asked for the route to the Art Academy. And then she gave him a lift to her place and they were talking in the car. It turned out she had recorded electronic music herself. An interesting coincidence.
“It’s my university assignment.” She said “The subject of my paper is ‘Coincidences That Do Not Exist’.” Florian was flabbergasted. “You’re in the right place with me,” he explained to the girl, “because I don’t believe in coincidences either, but in radiant energy or a sense of mission.”.
Chapter 11. The Power of Culture
We both live and breath Art, Music and Science. This is part of our shared Central European Heritage. Eva being of Hungarian, Austrian and Jewish background. Göran being Dutch with roots in Southern-Germany, South of France and also Jewish roots via family in Friesland (up north Netherlands). Both our families value beauty, history, culture, politics, humor, good food, a healthy, clean and meaningful vision of the future and of course also to enjoy life. That means to look forward to the next day, next week, next month, next year and further. To share and build a future together. This also to work hard to achieve things in live. To be also personally successful in life means to share values.
As part of this cultural background it is very important for us to be open minded, to be tolerant of other peoples views and to communicate well socially and emotionally next to intellectually. We also find it important to be family oriented which means to share common values within our own family and between families. Such as a strong sense of history, beauty, science, intellectual achievements but above all social and emotional achievement and mutual support On of the most important this is that both of our families also consist of open minded persons that have the same understanding of the world and also share the same view which is also based on taking oneself not so seriously always. Humor means to be able to see the other side, the creative side, the imaginative side. Even of things that maybe not so funny at all. Like not so nice things happening, the black side, the other side of the coin.
Personal wellbeing and consciousness is important in life. But also very much about the collective unconscious which encompasses the soul of humanity both in the past and in the future. A mixture of lower and higher, spiritual forces. Dreams are important and come from active imagination, an exploration of fantasy. This inherent open mindedness means that you are able to change your mind or change plans. This can be paradoxical. To say: be spontaneous is not possible. You either are spontaneous or you are not.
There is an interesting dividing line between spontaneity, individuality, personality and history, collectiveness, unconscious memory. And yet they are connected by culture. To be matured and cultured means to be able to forgive more, being more open-minded, to respect difference, not to forget love, to accept heart aches, not to judge easily, prefer to be silent sometimes. Happiness depends on the inner self.
A very good example of this is how Eva and I met. It was not a coincidence but a radiant and powerful energy guiding us in the Mission of Culture, History and Unconscious Memory and also Personal Consciousness. Every time we go to a Museum or a Concert or visit a beautiful place, share an interesting fact or development it comes back and amplifies itself and our relationship. This means the circle is round. We can drink coffee at Hedwig Eleonora Kyrkan or listen to music inside Hedwig Eleonara Kyrkan it does not matter.
My conclusion is that even coincidence is a coincidence although determined by laws of nature. Our universe has enough degrees of freedom for life on Earth to happen and eventually human thinking, feeling life. Freedom of will does exist if we are open to multiple dimensions simultaneously. Use your wings to fly to freedom. It enables the powers that work best for you. This story about coincidences could have been completely true, but it wasn’t. Eventually coincidence was not powerful enough and we did not follow the fairy tale provided by coincidence. Life is often determined by stronger powers than coincidence such as religion, culture, origin, health, occupation, family. In the book Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh, eventually all coincidence in love is overruled by religion and hereditary traits. However, i think it is very important to be open for coincidences in life as they are part of our collective awareness, and it can lead to very beautiful things if you are open for it. Especially in love, relationships and friendships. At a recent trip i met my best friend and fellow psychologist Steven, as a co-pilot of the plane i was boarding. It was a beautiful flight, and he asked about it. I confirmed and our friendship continues. True love, it will always be completely free in the human spirit and not limited by any boundaries.
The Wings by Milles